Understanding Domestic Violence and When to Get Help

Understanding Domestic Violence and When to Get Help

When we talk of domestic violence, many people are quick to think it only refers to physical abuse inflicted on someone in a relationship with the abuser. But this is only one side of the picture. There are many forms of domestic violence. And each has devastating and long-term consequences for the victim. Keep reading to understand what constitutes domestic violence under US law and the steps you can take to bring an abuser to justice.

What Is Domestic Violence?

“Domestic violence involves two people in a relationship. They may be married, dating, cohabiting, exes, or they may share a child,” said domestic violence lawyer Kevin Colwell of The Colwell Law Group, LLC. Most of the time, the victim has no idea. They may be financially or emotionally dependent on their partner. Below are the red flags that should concern you. Talk to a lawyer if your partner:

• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or being around your friends and family 
• Constantly accuses you of being unfaithful and acts possessive 
• Becomes angry and violent when intoxicated
• Displays controlling behavior
• Forces you to have sex 
• Blames you for their violent behavior
• Constantly insults and puts you down 

It’s not just about physical abuse. Many other forms of mistreatment also fall under domestic violence. They include: 

• Control: Your partner may try to control every aspect of your life. They may monitor your phone calls, text messages, social media, and even finances. 
• Sexual abuse: Being forced to have sex through force, coercion, manipulation, or guilt is domestic abuse. 
• Emotional abuse and intimidation: They may exploit your vulnerabilities, insecurities, or character to control you. Constantly insulting you and undermining you. 
• Isolation: It’s common for abusers to isolate their victims socially. They may prevent them from seeking help and interacting with anyone who may open their eyes to harm.
• Verbal abuse: Your partner may threaten you or use abusive language to control or embarrass you. 
• Physical abuse: Violent acts including hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, shaking, pushing, or withholding physical needs. 

Are You a Victim? Here Is What You Should Do

If your partner displays any of the behaviors mentioned above—controlling you, threatening violence, instigating violence (whether emotional or physical), apologizing, and blaming you for their actions—you should seek help immediately. 

The first and wisest course of action is reporting them to the cops, especially in severely escalated situations. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline—1-800-799-SAFE— and notify the authorities of your situation. If your abuser is violent and a threat to your life and well-being, many cities and towns in the US have shelters that can provide immediate refuge, protection, and counseling. 

You should also explore legal avenues for protection. Consider filing for a protective order (restraining order) with your local courthouse. It’s best to work with a qualified domestic violence attorney here. A good lawyer will take you through the process of filing for a restraining order. They will also offer counsel unique to your situation, drawing from experience with previous cases. 

Conclusion

No one deserves to be a victim of domestic violence, no matter their relationship with the abuser. If your partner displays patterns of controlling behavior, such as dictating who you can interact with, using monitoring applications to track your caller IDS, or controlling your finances, you should report them to the authorities and consult a lawyer for legal protection avenues. Remember, while physical abuse is a big part of domestic violence, it is not the only form; emotional abuse, such as insults and using abusive language, is also considered a form of domestic violence.